the stress gets to my head in pretty little colors.

My parents have made me study for ACT, but I'm not learning anything. I'm really tired. I think Eric has whooping cough, which means i'll get it soon. Ashley ran away from me for this reason. heh.
Today, I tried a new thing.
I tried to play hacky-sack. It was kinda fun, though i'm not coordinated and have horrible aim. I hit it twice in a row, and on my first day. I played this instead of badminton in gym, though i did play that a little, too. Cody was my partner, but I think I controlled the court a little too much... (sorry, Cody-kun! I didn't mean to take over your spot!)
Me-chan hasn't been at Japanese since wednesday. I'm worried. Is she sick? Is she wounded? I hope she feels better, regardless of what it was. She didn't look well on Monday or Tuesday, either.
Driving out, some jackass pulled in front of me and never looked my direction. He almost cost me another car, and a lung, since it was a busy intersection. And he smiled.
He smiled about it.
But I'm alive, so I'll be okay, right?
D has no boyfriend anymore. He'll find another one, but I think this time he'll be sensible about finding one that's as mature as he is.
tomorrow's the ACT and my interview. And Terra's house. I hope I don't forget Terra. My brain will be fried tomorrow, so...
I think my recital is gaining more popularity than I want. And I find that this is my graduation party, and that my mother wants it like this so I don't have one and people don't wish me well and give me cards that inspire me during college tests and so I don't write back and thank them for coming and mail them in a bulk to realize that I do have friends.
I don't want to do anything, I feel all tired and my test didn't go how I wanted and my mind is going "Why? Why?" like it did in 9th grade and over summers where I'm at home, and it's not the best time. Terra's party and then college and then i think I'll truly rest on monday of two weeks from now, after my band concert is over and my recital and my college aps and my speech I need to give to graduate.
As long as I can leave and see the world without my eyes being sheltered.
Let the wind meld with the water
and the fire meld with wind
as the Earth melds with water
and the fire melds with Earth
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Yeah. I had a fun dream where sensei took us to a bathhouse... but I wouldn't get in the water, and I stayed dressed in the concession area, much to Me-chan and Alisha's dismay. What was the point?
???
And then I left, and I saw...
a taxi.
Ha! Fooled you!
I saw my bus I was supposed to be on and I then searched for a rare bird through the governor's mansion with two bumbling idiots. But I laughed. I don't usually laugh in my dreams.
How sad is that?

There's this aching in my heart, and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's the stress. Maybe it's the fact that I don't feel well. Maybe it's the feeling of not speaking to friends, I'm not sure.
At least now I don't feel horrible when Justin shrugs and ignores me. :) Is that a sign of recovery, or a sign of denial?
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Yeah, I'm not sure what to write.
Just bein' a littl' bitchy, I guess.